Saturday, October 28, 2006
Greetings to my fellow Earthlings,trekkies,cyber-geeks and the tribe of Gog and Magog!
Finally the month of Ramadan has come to pass and thus came the Eid…alas not much of a chand raat for me here, couldn’t get the henna tattoos done coz my hubby has a stink issue with it. How he lives with his own smelly feet is however beyond me. So much so, that I strongly believe that the soundtrack “Smelly cat” sung so oft by the character Phoebe in F.R.I.E.N.D.S was originally drafted as “Smelly feet” inspired by my one and only!
Nonetheless, since my hubby was determined to get into the Eid spirit and I took this as an opportunity to get my grubby paws at those gorgeous boots sitting there in one of the NineWest outlets calling out to me, sometimes in the middle of the night in my dreams! No! I do not suffer from any auditory hallucinations. But you can’t base your assumptions about me till you get to take a glimpse at those beauties..trust me, Love at first sight will hold a whole different meaning to you! Course once I got there I got seduced into buying more then just one pair.Hey! Shoes are not just a natural high for me,but more so I look upon shoe shopping as a spiritual journey. And once I held them in my arms,clasped them closer to my chest, held them in a tight hug,I instantly knew right then ,in my heart, that it would be a wonderful,wonderful Eid. All I had to do,was to make sure we get invited to the right parties where I get to show off my boots! I already call em by the name "Cutsies", they dont respond to it right now but im sure once they warm upto it, they'll hop up and dive right out of my shoe closet at the snap of my finger.
If you’ve read enough Agatha Christie’s you’d know by now what the word “Alas” sufficiently described my Eid in the beginning of the blog. And now, for the twist in the story.... The only plans made this time during Eid holidays were to go BBQ on every possible square inch of beach in this country,in every possible time of the day...or night for that matter. Even sun rise! Who wants to eat steak first thing as the sun comes up? Freaking 4:30 in the morning? Or to prep up the grill on such an ungodly hour? The BBQ thing didnt for one second snap my spirits to wear boots to the beach. Hell,I was all geared up with an armload of excuses such as “These boots are a creation of the Satan! They wont come off of me!” or spring a blonde card such as “Oh but they told me at the store that these were water-proof!” But at 4:00am? How do you pull that off?
So I packed away my new babies along with my hopes and dreams to one day flash them around town and wore my rugged come-shine-come-hail time-tested pair of jeans and tried to be as enthusiastic as possible. Course once we got there, my enthusiasm transformed into a hook that yanked my tongue half hanging out of my mouth and jaw dropped open. What Im about to narrate to you and do justice to my visual horizon can be best explained that somewhere between pulling my jeans up(which had gone considerably tighter and I blame Ramadan alone for it) and driving to the beach I had somehow dropped off the planet and went straight to the “Planet of the Speedos”. Now I could’ve mistaken it for the planet of the apes too, by the looks of bare (read HAIRY!!!) chested men sporting in their skimpy speedos! I don’t know how long I stood there staring at the ghastly sight before I heard familiar voices of my hubby and friends snapping their fingers infront of my face and pleading that I roll up my tongue back in. I snapped back to life mumbling disoriented words like “Godddd! Can….see…everything…flabby..naked…hairy….GEEZ! Lord! Make me blind…..will have nightmares!” Of all the questions I had ever jotted down to ask God after I die, this one is on the top of my list “who invented spandex swim wear for men anyway?” Do they not know how the material clings on to the body revealing EVERYTHING (did I mention EVERYTHING? I mean EVERYTHING!!!). What’s the freaking point of wearing next to nothing? And its not flattering no matter how toned you are, there were kids there for God’s sake! Forget the boogeyman tales for mums to tuck their kids in with, we gotta new scare around! It's called "The speedo-man!" Even the dogs brought to the beach for a walk were’nt in their usual licky-jumpy selves. I bet when they go home, the cats would just drawl and give them the “I-told-you-so” sermon, on how they always knew that they were better then humans. Just perfect! As if they needed more God-complex, now the dogs would be on their side and bring forth a revolution…. They would join forces to take over the world and its all because a bunch of dudes wanted to wanted to flash their tools in public!
I understand the need of nudist beaches but to mix it up in a country where you see everyone wrapped up in sheets and sheets of cloth (even on the beach) is quiet revolting. Geez! And they call Muslims extremists! What the hell is this then?
Least to say, I didnt dare tread so much as my toe in the waters and I don’t think I will be either anytime soon other then the comforts of my own shower at home. Infact, everytime the thought flashes in my head I pull the comforter closer to myself. Anyway it got better once the sun went down, Im glad I always keep a magazine at hand incase I get bored or when people around me stop making sense once all the beer bottles are downed. Since I am focusing on my optimistic point of view these days onto which my shrink insists improvement. I can state that the upside to my experience is that I can officially say that Instyle magazine is so much better then Glamour….eventhough both makes an excellent speedos beach-read!
Until next time folks…..Cheers! Oh and Happy Eid to everyone!
Finally the month of Ramadan has come to pass and thus came the Eid…alas not much of a chand raat for me here, couldn’t get the henna tattoos done coz my hubby has a stink issue with it. How he lives with his own smelly feet is however beyond me. So much so, that I strongly believe that the soundtrack “Smelly cat” sung so oft by the character Phoebe in F.R.I.E.N.D.S was originally drafted as “Smelly feet” inspired by my one and only!
Nonetheless, since my hubby was determined to get into the Eid spirit and I took this as an opportunity to get my grubby paws at those gorgeous boots sitting there in one of the NineWest outlets calling out to me, sometimes in the middle of the night in my dreams! No! I do not suffer from any auditory hallucinations. But you can’t base your assumptions about me till you get to take a glimpse at those beauties..trust me, Love at first sight will hold a whole different meaning to you! Course once I got there I got seduced into buying more then just one pair.Hey! Shoes are not just a natural high for me,but more so I look upon shoe shopping as a spiritual journey. And once I held them in my arms,clasped them closer to my chest, held them in a tight hug,I instantly knew right then ,in my heart, that it would be a wonderful,wonderful Eid. All I had to do,was to make sure we get invited to the right parties where I get to show off my boots! I already call em by the name "Cutsies", they dont respond to it right now but im sure once they warm upto it, they'll hop up and dive right out of my shoe closet at the snap of my finger.
If you’ve read enough Agatha Christie’s you’d know by now what the word “Alas” sufficiently described my Eid in the beginning of the blog. And now, for the twist in the story.... The only plans made this time during Eid holidays were to go BBQ on every possible square inch of beach in this country,in every possible time of the day...or night for that matter. Even sun rise! Who wants to eat steak first thing as the sun comes up? Freaking 4:30 in the morning? Or to prep up the grill on such an ungodly hour? The BBQ thing didnt for one second snap my spirits to wear boots to the beach. Hell,I was all geared up with an armload of excuses such as “These boots are a creation of the Satan! They wont come off of me!” or spring a blonde card such as “Oh but they told me at the store that these were water-proof!” But at 4:00am? How do you pull that off?
So I packed away my new babies along with my hopes and dreams to one day flash them around town and wore my rugged come-shine-come-hail time-tested pair of jeans and tried to be as enthusiastic as possible. Course once we got there, my enthusiasm transformed into a hook that yanked my tongue half hanging out of my mouth and jaw dropped open. What Im about to narrate to you and do justice to my visual horizon can be best explained that somewhere between pulling my jeans up(which had gone considerably tighter and I blame Ramadan alone for it) and driving to the beach I had somehow dropped off the planet and went straight to the “Planet of the Speedos”. Now I could’ve mistaken it for the planet of the apes too, by the looks of bare (read HAIRY!!!) chested men sporting in their skimpy speedos! I don’t know how long I stood there staring at the ghastly sight before I heard familiar voices of my hubby and friends snapping their fingers infront of my face and pleading that I roll up my tongue back in. I snapped back to life mumbling disoriented words like “Godddd! Can….see…everything…flabby..naked…hairy….GEEZ! Lord! Make me blind…..will have nightmares!” Of all the questions I had ever jotted down to ask God after I die, this one is on the top of my list “who invented spandex swim wear for men anyway?” Do they not know how the material clings on to the body revealing EVERYTHING (did I mention EVERYTHING? I mean EVERYTHING!!!). What’s the freaking point of wearing next to nothing? And its not flattering no matter how toned you are, there were kids there for God’s sake! Forget the boogeyman tales for mums to tuck their kids in with, we gotta new scare around! It's called "The speedo-man!" Even the dogs brought to the beach for a walk were’nt in their usual licky-jumpy selves. I bet when they go home, the cats would just drawl and give them the “I-told-you-so” sermon, on how they always knew that they were better then humans. Just perfect! As if they needed more God-complex, now the dogs would be on their side and bring forth a revolution…. They would join forces to take over the world and its all because a bunch of dudes wanted to wanted to flash their tools in public!
I understand the need of nudist beaches but to mix it up in a country where you see everyone wrapped up in sheets and sheets of cloth (even on the beach) is quiet revolting. Geez! And they call Muslims extremists! What the hell is this then?
Least to say, I didnt dare tread so much as my toe in the waters and I don’t think I will be either anytime soon other then the comforts of my own shower at home. Infact, everytime the thought flashes in my head I pull the comforter closer to myself. Anyway it got better once the sun went down, Im glad I always keep a magazine at hand incase I get bored or when people around me stop making sense once all the beer bottles are downed. Since I am focusing on my optimistic point of view these days onto which my shrink insists improvement. I can state that the upside to my experience is that I can officially say that Instyle magazine is so much better then Glamour….eventhough both makes an excellent speedos beach-read!
Until next time folks…..Cheers! Oh and Happy Eid to everyone!
